Truths of the Past
by AnAverageGirl15
Summary: The past is the thing that shapes our future. See how Harvey's past made him the man he was today. Harvey/Donna relationship.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Again I am a pathetic soul with no life (which is a lie since I should have been sleeping or studying for my board exam while doing this last night at 2 in the morning). But this was in my head and I couldn't get it out. This is I guess AU but not really. Or until we know Harvey's full history. But this is how I think he lived his life and got to where he is today. **

**This is also in the same universe as my other story **_**What Lies Beneath**_**. **

**I don't know if I'll make this a one-shot or not. Let me know.**

**Disclaimer: I own nothing. **

Chapter 1 - The Start of Something

Harvey sighed heavily as he finished reading over the file Mike had found for him. It was late (well past any normal human being would be up) and as he glanced at his watch he groaned internally. 1:15 in the morning. He honestly hadn't done something like that in years. But he knew why he was having such an off day.

Mike always wondered why he never showed emotions. Well this was the reason. They made you sloppy and slow. And damn, did he feel old. Harvey glanced up and saw that Donna had fallen asleep on his couch with her book lying on her slightly rounded stomach.

It was still early for anyone to really notice but he knew. And it always made him smile when he looked at his wife like that. But it also brought back all the memories he deliberately tried to forget. Of all the reasons why he thought he wouldn't be a good father to his unborn child. And this date just amplified it.

Today was the anniversary of when he learnt that no matter how much you help a person you still cannot help them with everything. Today was the anniversary of when his baby brother OD'd. And it all started to go downhill when their mother left.

~SUITS~

Harvey had always wanted a sibling. But as the years went by and as he listened to his parents fight, he lost that hope. But then one day at the age of five his parents sat him down and told him he was going to be a big brother. And sure enough, six months later he had a baby brother to look after.

At first he hated his brother. The kid just wouldn't let him sleep. Then the fighting just kept getting worse and worse. By the time his kid brother was five himself and he was ten, their mom realized she was too young to be a mother of two. She hadn't even wanted to have children and most definitely not her first one at 15 herself! With those final words ringing in the air she left with all her packed bags.

In retrospect, Harvey might admit that he still felt a little stab of pain whenever he thought of those words. But then he would remember his dad. It was true that they weren't rich. Hell, they weren't even middle class. But Harvey loved his old man. The man always told him he could be whatever he wanted to be. But the most important thing he said was that he wouldn't change anything in his life because then he wouldn't have the two most important things in his life. His two sons.

So yes, Harvey was loved by at least one of his parents. And he looked to his dad as his hero. He wanted to be just like him. So he started playing ball just like his old man and then he got into cars. His dad had given up his dream of becoming a pro-baseball player and settled for his second love. Cars and music. He was the best damn mechanic in the surrounding towns and everyone came to him even at such a young age of 22. His shop was known for the best service and the best music to listen to while they waited.

So as another five years came and went, Harvey emulated all his father's mannerisms and hobbies. He threw a great fastball and could fix any car brought in to his dad's shop. He could name all the labels and every damn thing about the best musicians. He was living the life for a fifteen year old with a kid brother that followed him around every waking moment. Harvey loved his ten year old brother, but that didn't mean that the kid got on his nerves sometimes. Like now, for instance.

Harvey just needed two more hours of driving until he could get his license. But the damn kid wouldn't shut up! Harvey let his eyes drift from the road one second to tell his brother to shut up. But that was all that was needed for all hell to break loose. He heard his dad shout out to watch out and Harvey immediately brought his eyes back to the street to find that a little girl had run out to get a stray ball.

Harvey had heard the little girl's mother scream, his father scream, and even his kid brother scream. But Harvey just reacted. He swerved to miss the girl all the while slamming on his breaks. He knew the moment he did it that it was the wrong decision. He felt the car lean toward one side and then the car was just rolling.

After everything came to light, he was told that the car had flipped five times until they landed on the hood. The last coherent image Harvey had was his dad hanging limply in his seat with blood spilling down the length of his face from a cut in his neck.

The next thing he knew he was in the ER being looked over. His little brother was wailing at the top of his lungs next to him while his father was nowhere in sight. Nurses and doctors surrounded him, asking questions and probing him, trying to find any and all injuries. Miraculously both Harvey and his brother came out of the wreck pretty much unscathed. A few minor lacerations and a good amount of bruising. But no broken bones and no internal injuries. His dad however wasn't so lucky.

The doctors had tried to explain to him that it was a freak accident and that the actual crash hadn't killed his father. A piece of metal that had been on the street had been picked up and thrown by the turning motion of their car. That piece of metal flew through the already shattered window and severed his dad's carotid artery. It was an almost instantaneous death by bleeding out.

But Harvey didn't see it that way. What he saw was that his father had died because of his car wreck. He would never forgive himself of that. Ever.

The hospital told him that since his dad had full custody of both himself and his brother, they needed to contact social services and that they'd be there shortly to take them in.

Harvey knew though what would happen when that happened. He would be carted off from foster home to foster home as his brother was separated from the one thing that he had left. And he wasn't going to let that happen. So in the middle of the night, as the hospital staff was worrying about a trauma that had come in, Harvey picked up his brother and walked out.

With only the money in his wallet (and the money he took from his dad's) he left his hometown of Blackstone, Virginia. By the time that they were on the road heading north it had only been 12 hours since the crash. Harvey had taken a car he had almost been done salvaging. He just needed another coat of paint and this mustang would have been perfect. But none of that mattered as he looked back at his kid brother sleeping soundly in the backseat with most of their belongings next to him.

By the time Harvey made it to New York, he only had $75 in his pocket. He had no job, no place to live, and he also had to take care of his little brother now. But Harvey was always one to rise to the challenge. And boy, did he.

Harvey found an evening shift job at an auto shop. He also found an apartment where the landlord didn't care if he was only 15 with a 10 year old brother. As long as he could pay rent they could stay. Harvey enrolled them into school and thank god he was turning 16 in two days because then he could be emancipated and get his driver's license.

In just the following few months, Harvey and his brother got into a routine. Harvey would wake up at 4 to make them both breakfast and lunch, wake up his brother at 7 to get ready, drop off his brother at school, rush himself to his high school, finish all his homework during lunch for both his morning classes from that day and his afternoon classes from the day before, then rush to pick up his brother to only have to rush back to his school to practice with the baseball team he was on, and then he would go to work. At work he would leave his brother in the manager's office (the woman was a saint) to do his work from school. By the time his shift ended it was already passed 10. His brother, having already been fed by a pre-made dinner that Harvey had cooked the night prior and heated up in their break-room, was asleep. Harvey would then carry his brother to his car and drive home, tuck him, and only after having cooked another dinner to be saved for the next day, Harvey collapsed in his own bed to only wake up and have to repeat that, every day.

And so it went throughout his whole high school experience in New York. And just as he graduated high school, his dreams came true. He (somehow) had gotten a scholarship based on his abilities in baseball. Playing at college level could lead to the major leagues and then he could finally take his brother out of the dump they were still living in.

Harvey was still undecided as to what his major was going to be but he didn't really give a damn about that since he knew that he was going to be drafted at the nationals, even if he was still only a freshman. He was the best damn pitcher his team had and his coach told him that there were scouts out there coming to see him. However, his emotions got in the way only one game away from the nationals.

His kid brother had somehow gotten into smoking pot. Harvey had always told him to stay away from those douches that smoked that stuff. But he wasn't around his brother all the time any more. And his brother made the wrong decisions. After multiple times of saying he would quit it finally caught up with him. Which led to him getting arrested for getting caught with pot. Harvey had been called out of his practice for the game that night to come to get his brother.

Harvey had arrived to find his brother, but he didn't know the man that was sitting in the cell. They yelled at each other and Harvey told him that he was going to have to sit in there for a few days to learn his lesson. So with that he left his brother, ensuring the police that he'd come back in a few days to pick him up. However, he was still so angry at the game that night that he didn't realize his fast balls were being thrown so hard and fast (striking out every player of course) until on the bottom of the eighth inning, as he threw the ball, that he felt something tear in his shoulder.

Harvey knew in that moment that his dreams, just like his dads, were gone for good. As he was informed by the ER doctor that he had torn his rotator cuff and needed surgery to get it repaired, Harvey knew that he would lose everything. Harvey scheduled the surgery he couldn't afford, went to bail out his kid brother (who vowed to never do drugs once again), and then went back in to have his surgery the following week. By the time he was out of surgery and back home, the nationals were already over and won and his chance of being a major leaguer were over and done.

Harvey lost his scholarship and his job at the auto shop since he couldn't do any work. Thankfully he had been smart enough to save as much money as possible over the years and they were able to live off of that for a while until Harvey finally took a job at Pearson-Hardman law firm in the mail room.

At the time he didn't care what job he had, as long as he had one to provide for his brother. But what he wasn't going to do was deal with these Harvard douches belittling him for working in the mail room. He gave just as much back as they gave him and then some. Then one afternoon Jessica Pearson herself came up to Harvey and gave him an offer he couldn't refuse. He never really thought about going into law, but seeing as to how many of these associates and partners made it through, he didn't see why he couldn't.

So with a new plan of action in mind he went home with some good news finally. But what he found made him the man he was to this day. His brother was surrounded by drugs. A joint was still hanging from his (rather blue) fingers and a needle was thrown haphazardly to the side. Harvey was about to let him have it when he noticed that his chest wasn't rising. He stomped out the joint and picked up his brother and rushed him to the ER.

Once there they tried everything they could, but it had been too late. His brother was dead. Harvey came back home in a zombie state. He knew that he wasn't going to be able to stay there so he started to pack. That's when he found a note from his brother. It told him that he was sorry for all the shit he made Harvey go through for him. That Harvey deserved better than his no good brother that was getting nowhere in life. He had caused their father's death by being a distraction in the car and he had caused Harvey his career in baseball for his dumb mistakes. He said that he didn't deserve to live and that life would just be better without him.

That's when Harvey lost it. After completely trashing his apartment, Harvey collapsed against the nearest wall and just cried for everything he had lost. But then something shifted in him. He realized that he always cared too much and that was his downfall for his family. And so began his new life.

The one greatest highlight was meeting Donna. She had been walking past him as he got his coffee with a fellow new partner when the douche tried to slap her ass. She deftly grabbed his hand and bent it backwards, bringing the man almost to his knees as she hissed, "Try that again and you'll be fortunate enough to leave with only a broken hand. Got it?" The lawyer nodded his head vigorously before she let go of his hand and continued toward the counter.

Harvey had watched the whole scene in slight awe and knew that she was perfect for him. He had been looking for an executive assistant since he made partner and she was exactly what he wanted and needed. So he walked up to her and before he could even get a word out she snapped at him, "Don't think I won't do to you what I did to your buddy back there. I don't care if your lawyers that could sue me because you won't win against me."

Harvey smirked at her retort and chuckled as he said, "Oh that douche is not my friend. Trust me. And I respect you too much to try and pick you up after that show. No, I'm going to give you an offer you cannot refuse."

Donna had turned around then with one lifted eyebrow. "Oh really? And what is this thing that I can't refuse?"

Harvey smirked at her as he said, "I want to hire you to be my executive assistant."

Donna's eyebrows actually raised in surprise at that. She had just been fired for being too vocal toward her boss and had been looking for a job. But ever the cautious one she said haughtily, "And what makes you think that I would want to work for you? You don't even know if I'm qualified!"

Harvey just shrugged his shoulders and told her, "If that show right there is how you are, then you're qualified." And so began their relationship.

~SUITS~

Harvey was brought back to reality as he heard Donna roll slightly on the couch in her sleep. Harvey stood up and walked toward her quietly before kneeling down and placing one hand on her rounded stomach and the other on her head. He spoke softly, "Donna, babe, it's time to go home."

She only hummed softly before falling back to a deep sleep. Harvey smiled down at her before he gently picked her up and started to carry her toward the car service waiting for them downstairs that she had called over an hour ago. As the elevator doors closed and Donna burrowed her face into his shoulder, Harvey realize that everything would be okay. With Donna by his side nothing could bring them down.

**A/N2: Well what do you think? Just leave it as is or continue on with the story line. It's really up to you readers. I'm comfortable leaving it at this, but I could also write more. Just let me know!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I'm back! Yes, I am continuing with this storyline. However, I'm making a few changes. I'm too lazy to make them in the actual chapter, so I'm letting you know here. When Harvey met Donna, I know I said he had just made partner, but I'm changing that. He was still an associate, not sure when, but he was an associate. I'm thinking right before he became an ADA. Okay? I know that I'm not gonna be accurate on everything since, well, I'm telling a storyline that hasn't happened and probably never did. But I'll try to change things to fit as much as possible. **

**On other news, OMIGAWD I HAD A JOB INTERVIEW YESTERDAY! My first one ever AND it's at the hospital I did my clinicals at! Yay me! So, I'm happy, hyper, and completely nervous still!**

**Back to what you're here for: I will include this storyline that the writers have gone within the series (And can I just say that, I don't think I can take much more of this because with each episode I just want to cry and then scream and then hurt Hardman even more so! Plus, DONNA! NOOOOO! Erm, excuse that mini-rant). I'll touch on it a little throughout each one-shot, so you are all forewarned! I will include some spoilers from aired episodes in the USA! Okay, now let's get to this story.**

**Disclaimer: I own none of these characters, because if I did Harvey and Donna would already be together and I would have Hardman in jail rotting for the snake that he is. And Donna, well, *sniffles*bawls* you guys know. Plus, Tanner would be with Hardman because I just don't like that man at ALL! Ugh!**

Chapter 2 – Where it Began

Donna walked back around her desk after leaving the bathroom, again. She couldn't believe how often she needed to use the bathroom now. Sure it was still a lot less than compared to others, but she hated leaving her spot – allowing unwanted people into Harvey's office (even though it was late at night and few people remained – unfortunately that wasn't the case). Like the person in there now. She stayed standing, hand on her hip, glaring a hole into the back of her head.

She wanted to know how the hell that woman even got inside the firm. She could tell that Harvey was livid. She herself wanted to strangle the woman. After everything she had done to Harvey, to his family. Donna was ready to storm in the room and rip her to shreds. But then she saw Mike walking toward them and she needed to intercept him before he walked into that storm unknowingly. "Not now Mike. Come back later."

Mike frowned slightly at her before looking into Harvey's office. His frown only deepened when he saw that a woman was in there talking to him. "Why didn't Harvey tell me he was meeting with a client? Is this still about my misplacing those files a week ago? Because I found them and everything was straightened out."

Donna shook her head, "That's not a client. Just come back later Mike."

Mike looked back into the office, curious now as to who the woman could be. Harvey looked…emotionless. He honestly didn't have any readable emotions on his face. He didn't even looked annoyed, bored, or cocky. "Who is it?"

Donna shook her head again, "Just go Mike. I'll let you know when you can come back."

They however were both startled (so much so that they both jumped slightly) when they heard Harvey yell, "Get the hell out!"

Donna whirled around to see that her husband was standing now, still behind his desk though thankfully, with his finger pointing toward the door. The woman said something back to him that just made his jaw clench and he said something that Donna couldn't hear but knew was threatening.

Donna saw his fists clench by his sides as he said something else and she knew that she needed to intervene. She left Mike standing in shock and walked into Harvey's office. "You need to leave. Now."

The woman turned around and looked Donna up and down, calculating, landing on her midsection and breasts again before turning back to her son and said scathingly, "What, you had to knock your secretary up as well? That's priceless."

Donna's own anger flared at that even as she saw Harvey take a menacing step forward. She took her own step forward and grabbed the woman's arm, drawing her attention again. Donna said in a quiet steely voice, "I said leave."

The woman clenched her own jaw before shooting one last look at her son before she snatched her arm from Donna. "Fine. I can see that I wasted my time coming here." With that she left the office, walking past a still stunned Mike.

Donna watched her leave, making sure that the witch was gone for good, before turning back to Harvey. He still looked ready to tear something or someone apart. She approached him slowly as she said softly, "Harvey?"

Harvey clenched his jaw even tighter, feeling no relief from that – only feeling his anger continue to well up inside of him. He grabbed the nearest thing to him (one of his baseballs) and threw it with all his strength across the room. Donna, for her part, flinched only a little as the ball connected with the wall – breaking through the drywall – before she rushed to her husband and wrapped her arms around him. He took in a shuddering breath before hugging her back, burying his face into her neck. She didn't what his mother wanted or even how she found him, but all she did know was that if she ever came back, there was going to be hell to pay.

Mike, for his part, had watched in confusion and concern. He had seen Harvey lose his cool a handful of times. But this one topped them all. He wondered who the woman could have been to make him react so…strongly. But what shocked Mike the most was when his boss grabbed one of his baseballs and threw it. He knew that whatever had happened was bad, possibly even worse than Donna having been fired (at least then Harvey only retaliated through acting crazy (at least from he saw at the office)). Mike soon felt like he was invading a very private moment when Donna walked up to Harvey and hugged him.

Mike was startled yet again when Rachel spoke from behind him. "What are you doing?"

He whirled around and cleared his throat, before trying to act casual. "Nothing. I was dropping something off for Harvey, but you know, I'll just come back later." Mike tried to turn her around so she didn't see what was happening in his boss's office as he said, "How about we catch a late dinner."

Rachel though did catch what was happening and asked concernedly, "What happened?"

Mike sighed before saying quietly, "I don't know. All I know is that I came to drop this file off and Donna told me to come back later because of whatever was happening in Harvey's office. Some woman was in there and then the next thing I know Harvey is yelling at her to leave and then Donna went in there. She said something to the woman and then the woman left. But Harvey seems…upset from whatever just happened. And now I feel like a voyeur by watching them."

Rachel looked at the couple again and couldn't help but agree with her boyfriend. "I think dinner sounds good."

As they walked away from the couple, Donna heard Harvey whisper as he tightened his hold on her, "I hate her. I really hate her."

Donna felt tears prick at her eyes. She hated to see him like this. She tightened her own grip as she whispered back, "I know. Do you want to talk about it?"

Harvey loosened his grip around her, keeping his hands to rest around her waist, before saying, "She came to see if I could give her money. Apparently she read about the shooting a few months ago. She didn't say what for, but that she was in debt and needed help."

Donna scoffed at that. The nerve of the woman. "After everything she did, she really thought that she could ask you that?"

Harvey smiled a little at her words. "I guess she didn't know that I knew the many reasons why she left. And why my dad let her." He tried to rein in his emotions and shrugged. "It doesn't matter. She's gone now and I think she got the point that she isn't welcomed. I don't think we have to worry about her coming back."

Donna saw that he was trying to build his walls again, and let him, as she said, "She better have. Because if she does come back, she'll have me to contend with. And everyone knows that you don't mess with a pregnant woman." That got a real smile from her husband, which made her happy. "I'm going to call Ray. I think it's time we went home. My feet hurt and you need a real good drink. And unfortunately you just ran out of your best scotch here a few days ago."

Harvey squeezed her waist again in thanks, before letting go to pack everything up and to retrieve his baseball from the floor as Donna went to her desk. He still was having a hard time coming to terms with what had just happened. He didn't really know what to feel.

The primary thing was anger and rage. But he couldn't help as he felt a slight twinge of that lingering feeling of insecurity. Because no matter what you told people and yourself, when your mother leaves you at a young age it affects you more than anyone can ever know, even yourself at times. And Harvey hated to feel insecure about anything.

After placing his baseball back in its place, he walked out to his wife. She smiled at him warmly before they started to walk toward the elevators in silence. And they continued like that throughout the whole way home. That was one of the reasons he loved her so much. She knew exactly what he needed. And at the moment he needed silence and solitude to think. Which just led to memories.

~SUITS~

Harvey was only nine when he found out his mom was cheating on his dad. He was hiding in his parents' closet, playing hide and seek with his brother, when they came in and started to argue. His dad yelled at his mom, "You said it was over! You said that you wouldn't do this anymore. Can you think of no one but yourself? Forget about me, what about our sons? I know that we got pushed into this marriage and that we didn't plan on being parents, but guess what, we are! Damn it, you promised me that this would stop."

His mom yelled right back, "I can't take this life anymore! I never even wanted to have kids. You know that! I wanted the abortion, but you kept pressuring me. And then it was too late. I've regretted that ever since. We were too young. Why can't you get that? I never had a life. You were my first, but I never thought that you would be my last. I can't take that type of commitment! I just, I don't love you anymore! I can't stay in this place anymore."

His dad cut her off, "NO! You are not walking out on us. I don't care if you don't love me anymore, but you have two sons that love you. You stay for them. Just stop with these men! We're married, damn it, whether you like it or not. You promised to be faithful to me, just as I have been faithful to you. I've looked over all the years we've been together and you've cheated on me, but Harvey almost caught you last time! Think of what that would have done to him! Think of someone other than yourself." With that he heard his dad leave, slamming the door behind him.

He then heard something crash against the closet door, rattling it and him, as his mom yelled, "I hate you! I hate you all!" Harvey held back a whimper as tears started to fall from his eyes. This had been the worst argument that he had ever heard from his parents. Most of the time he just heard muffled yelling, not really being able to hear what exactly was being said. And now he wished that he could get that back. He wanted to unhear that whole argument, because he couldn't believe that his mom didn't love him.

Harvey cried silently into his legs, waiting for his mom to leave. Once he heard her open and close the bedroom door, he silently opened the closet door – looking around to make sure he was indeed alone – before creeping out of the room. He found his brother taking his nap on his bed. He was happy to see that he hadn't heard their argument. Even if he was only four, Harvey didn't want his brother to know that their mother didn't love them.

He then walked to the living to find his dad. He was sitting on the couch with a beer. Harvey wiped at his eyes, trying to take away any last remnants of tears, before making his way to his dad. He smiled down at Harvey, but soon frowned when he saw that his son had been crying. "Hey, buddy, what's wrong?"

Harvey felt his bottom lip begin to tremble without his permission. And then he was in his dad's arms. He clung to his father as he tried to control his stupid emotions. He felt his dad gently rake his fingers through his floppy blonde hair as he asked softly, "Why are you crying Harvey?"

Just then though, Harvey's mom walked by, about to leave. His dad stopped her by saying, "Where are you going?"

She glared at his dad before saying, "Out." She then looked at Harvey, and upon seeing that he was crying, she rolled her eyes and shook her head. Harvey could hear her mumble as she left, "Stupid kid."

Harvey buried his face deeper into his dad's chest and continued to cry. The man hugged his son closer to him, in that moment truly hating his wife. "It's okay Harvey. Everything will be okay." Harvey felt his dad get up and reposition him in his arms before walking to his record player. Soon afterward, Harvey heard the first tunes of his dad's music coming through the player as his dad asked, "How about some of your old man's music?"

Harvey wrapped his arms around his dad's neck as he continued to cry. He became calmer though as the music washed over him and as he felt and heard his dad hum along with the music. He then heard his dad whisper before he fell off into sleep, "You know I love you more than the world. Both you and your brother. Nothing will ever change that."

~SUITS~

Harvey blinked back unwanted tears as he stared unseeingly out of the car window. It had been a long time since he thought of that day. He took in a deep breath before turning his head to look at Donna. She was staring at him with a soft smile. He could tell she had been doing it for a long time. He whispered, "Hi."

She whispered back, "Hi. We're home."

Harvey looked out the window to find that they were indeed home. "How long have we've been here?"

Donna gently placed her hand on his thigh before she said, "A few minutes. You were thinking, I didn't want to disturb you." Harvey smiled at her briefly before looking back out the window. She asked softly, "Are you better?"

Harvey thought about that question before answering, "I will be." He then grabbed her hand and tugged on it gently, "Come on, let's go."

They said their goodbyes and thanks to Ray before heading up. Donna knew that Harvey would want a drink when they got in, so she was making her way to their liquor cabinet when she felt his hands grab her by the waist. "Harvey, what are you…"

But she was cut off as she turned around to look at him by his lips. By instinct, she let her fingers weave through his hair as he deepened the kiss, leaving her breathless as they finally broke apart. Harvey leant his forehead against hers as he whispered, "Thank you."

Donna looked into his eyes as she asked softly, "For what?"

Harvey tightened his grip on her waist as he whispered even more softly – almost to the point where she couldn't hear it, "For loving me."

After that Donna completely forgot about his drink, because she couldn't stop herself from kissing him back and showing him exactly how much she loved him.

**A/N2: I didn't think about adding in that Mike/Rachel bit, but it sorta fit and I just went with it. Not a really big shipper for them, but I'm not against it either. I also know that I'm going to learn more of Harvey's past in tonight's episode, but I haven't seen it yet so I can't use any of that information yet. Please review!**


End file.
